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So surprisingly the tears have not show up yet, 3 days after the horrible news, of losing the anxious yet sweet anticipation before ISU GP series, before Euros, or Worlds.
�I know my own personality long enough,�to avoid bothering by sadness�--- all that I need is just a long and hard cry and Iapos;ll wake up refreshingly, doing my work as passionate as, say, Tuesday daytime. I will be able to think of anything, stephane included, about how happy he could be to get rid of triple axel forever, about all the fascinating chances in front of him.

But I just canapos;t get what I want.So I think Iapos;ll probably live with the pain for a while.

A bottle of wine may help, but I hate alcohol.Using them is a sign of real weakness, to throw oneself into the mist of unreasonable thinkings.�And they donapos;t solve any problem at all.

I am now even thinking --- is it that I really donapos;t feel sad at all?
Then why couldnapos;t I sleep last night?o.O

Ahhhh......stop it.

He looks so simple and pure but every bit I feel about him is COMPLICATED God, tell me how did you create such a man, Iapos;m toooooo curious.
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